Of all the readings we have done this year, nothing has evoked such a physical response from me as Susan Brownmiller’s “Against our Will: Men, Women, and Rape.” I found myself sighing and cringing at every page, not because I felt like her argument was wrong or right, but because of an intense feeling of being accused. Even the way she structures her language, allows no room for exceptions to her rules; rape “is nothing more or less than a conscious process of intimidation by which all men keep all women in a state of fear. According to Brownmiller, even the “good” men are upholding the system of rape by encouraging women to rely on their protection. This perspective literally makes me nauseous because it is not really about rape, it diagnoses (or rather, accuses) all sexual relationships, no matter how healthy, of being products of this social mentality.
I understand the point that Brownmiller is trying to make: the threat of rape helps to uphold certain societal norms that are not always healthy. But in my opinion, she underestimates the power of healthy, consenting relationships to combat the fear and oppression of rape. If men and women are educated about sex and engage in sexual activity with maturity and a full understanding of the emotional and physical risks, the social understanding of sex can be much brighter. I know that this doesn’t eliminate the threat of rape, but frankly, neither does Brownmiller’s suggestion. It also makes me angry that she completely exempts males from the threat of rape, particularly because she begins talking about young children. We are all well aware that young boys in particular do not escape the threat of unpleasant or forcible sexual encounters, and it is pretty audacious to relegate the male youth to the position of “the potential raping population.” In fact, I think Brownmiller is, in a way, upholding one of the most unfortunate symptoms of rape in our society by deliberately ignoring this type of sexual victim. I say this because, like female rape victims (and possibly even to a greater extent than women), male rape victims are shamed by our society and therefore experience intense pressure to “keep quiet” as a way to maintain their masculinity. Rape is much more complicated than the all men vs. all women power struggle that Brownmiller makes it out to be. And while I understand the goal she was trying to achieve, her means of arguing for it were offensive to me as male.
I am directing a play right now that was written by Mark Ravenhill, who came to campus last year. Sexual dynamics are a major theme of the play and I highly recommend everyone attend (Ryan 212 on April 27 and 28 at 6). One of the play’s most powerful scenes is a dialogue between husband and wife about the moment their child was conceived. The father is hoping desperately that his son was conceived “in calm” but the mother admits to feeling fleeting moments of rape sometimes when she and her husband have sex. The confession deeply troubles her husband, who is both hurt and defensive against the idea of being a rapist. The scene captures how rape, like Brownmiller argues, is more than isolated incidents of violence, but a concept that exists in the mentality of our society. But I think this scene helps to show that with communication, education, and understanding, we can combat the spread of this nauseating undertone in our society’s sexual dynamics.
Relevant YouTube clip about women "wanting" to be raped:
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