Shyam’s writing about South Asian women was really eye opening and important because it sheds light on the challenges that these women face in American society. There was a particular point of her piece that I could really relate to. When Shyam was younger and her relatives asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up, she said “I want to be just like mom. I want to be a housewife” (175). I remember a specific moment when I was probably 9 or 10 years old, and I said the exact same thing. I took such pride in my answer…I loved the idea of being just like my mother, and I thought that my desire to become a mother was such a wholesome answer. Not only do I remember saying this myself, but I also remember a specific moment when I asked my little sister and her friends what they wanted to be when they grow up. My sister replied “a mom”. I was about 18 at the time, and I internally questioned my ten-year old sister’s response.
The fact that both my sister and I aspired to be mothers as younger girls is very interesting to me. As I mentioned, I was so proud of my desire to be a mother. I thought it was the “correct” thing to want be, and I have always been a “family” person. Of course, now I have different aspirations that include a career. It’s interesting how young children in American culture are socialized to want to be mothers. Since my sister and I both felt this way, there is definitely some family influence going on as well. As a young girl, I really thought that being a mother was the only thing I wanted to do. It’s absolutely ridiculous for me to think about that now. I still definitely want to have a family, but I have other aspirations as well.
Callie,
ReplyDeleteI think it's really interesting that you included your personal connection to the reading. I wonder, when you write that "It’s absolutely ridiculous for me to think about that now," is it actually that ridiculous? I have aspirations that are separate from motherhood too, but why isn't it "good enough" in modern society for a woman to just be a mom? There seem to be increasing expectations for women, to be mothers and businesswomen, but why does the bar keeping rising higher and higher?
I remember when I was little I loved playing "house" with my kitchen play set and my dolls. And today when I see cute kids or babies I just want to hold them and take care of them. This past week I spent spring break with a couple who have a four year old daughter. After just a few days with her I could tell she was really having an impact on me by arousing that urge to have a child of your own. I know that I don't actually want a child right now but I feel like we still can't deny that motherly instinct that many young women have. Society has such a strange take on that instinct. On one hand, women have fought to overcome the stereotype that women should only be at home and take care of the children. But now women are faced with the stress of taking care of their family and having a career. Its like a never ending battle. And I don't think there is one right answer to it either.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Amy's comment. I think when you write how it is "ridiculous" for you to aspire to be a mother now, it is an example of how on the one hand society demands that women have a motherly instinct and take on the role of housework, but at the same time undervalue this role when it is the sole role that a woman chooses. My mother also stayed at home when my siblings and I were growing up, leaving her position as a lawyer. She always knew that she wanted to stay at home when she had children. I think it is unfair to think of this decision as "ridiculous" and that society needs to respect the choice of women who choose such paths and not to undervalue them. Although it is unfortunate that many women are forced to choose between family life and career ascension, it is important to recognize that some women willingly, not forcibly, choose to be a homemaker and find this work satisfying and that this also must be recognized.
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